Looking Back

Will I ever stop making stupid decisions? I don't know what to say for myself, however when you find yourself in a financial predicament you will find whatever method you can to get the money. These past few days since finding out about the status of my student loans I have come up with some normally unfathomable ideas of how to pay them off. It is difficult because I don't want to live the rest of my life in debt. Sometimes I wish I could join the military and they would pay off my student loans, however I know that is impossible. So that option is out. No, I would never rob or steal from somebody! I want to earn the money honestly. I feel as though their is nothing I can do. Then when I get in this state it feels like nothing I do is ever right and I wind up hurting everybody who is around me. I also begin questioning the decisions I have made in my life and it seems like I have done everything all wrong.

Is anything salvagable now or am I going to lose everything? I know this is putting a burden on my whole family and I am at a loss as to what to do. I honestly believe I may lose everything. The only person I have to blame is myself, I should have went back to work once we moved up to Washington. There are so many things I should have done differently! If only...