Such A Big Girl!

I am beginning to think I have upset someone and you know what, I honestly don't care. This is a first for me, normally I am attempting to figure out what I did wrong and now I just don't care. This really feels good, I didn't know it could feel this good not to worry about what others think of you. I suppose it would be different if the person was somebody I truely cared about and didn't want to hurt. But I don't believe I did anything to hurt this person and that they are just making something out of nothing.
Am I really beginning to grow up? I think I am! So another week has passed without hubby and it seems to be getting a little more difficult each week, I long for him to be home and able to help with our children. As for this deployment, there are so many rumors flying around as usual and my thought is their is always some truth to every rumor! I will let you know if any of the rumors have any validity when something happens!

Till Next Time.

Burdens and Challenges

Tired and disgusted with this whole deployment and being left here in the States by myself to deal with three children. Today my 8 year old daughter came home and proceeded to lie to me about something which occured and I gave her several opportunities to tell me the truth. I don't know what to do anymore to get these children to realize I am not going to deal with their bad behavior. Then I went to the Y today and if you remember my story about the little boy who slapped my son while playing soccer, today the same little boy was strangling my child all while his parents sat their and watched their child do this. I honestly wanted to have it out with his parents. I did inform the coach that I couldn't take this any longer. My child shouldn't have to feel afraid to come to the Y. Hopefully this child does not attend class on Thursday. I was told if he did show up, then they would as him to leave.

I honestly just wish I didn't have to deal with this on my own. I want nothing more than to share these difficult and uncomfortable times with my husband.

In happier news my husband passed his promotion board and is looking at getting promoted to E-6 here very shortly. I am so proud of him and everything he has accomplished. I only wish I could share in his glory!

Till Next Time

Cleaning is necessary

So life has been hectic again and rather than blogging right now, I should be up cleaning my home. I can't even to stand to look at, I have let it go for way to long. I need to vaccum, mop, clean the bathrooms, kitchen, dining room and most importantly I need to go through everyone's rooms and begin purging! Yet I always put it off. I just wish I could keep in mind how much better I would feel once I have accomplished everything. In all honesty though, I just wish I had some help. It sucks having to do everything by myself. I suppose I should be use to doing it alone. Another week of loneliness has passed and I still have quite a few more weeks of loneliness to go!

Alright I am going to go begin cleaning and hope I may get distracted by my husband calling me.

Chat with you all later!

Pampering Session Needed

I have decided I just want one day to myself without children. Maybe I could go get my hair done and go out to lunch. Having a day to myself sounds so wonderful right now. I suppose I should use my 16 hours of respite care for little man, so I can have a day to myself. It's getting past leaving him at daycare, in all honesty I would rather be able to give him to someone I know and trust. Another week has past and yet it still feels like it is going by so slowly. Honestly were keeping busy and the days seem to pass by quickly enough. I miss my husband and want him to come home safely to our family. Maybe next payday I will take myself out.

Love and Missing my wonderful husband!

Violence in Iraq

Had a good time at church today as well as an amzing time at a Halloween party. I only wish my husband was home to enjoy it with us. He did get to see the children in their halloween costumes today as we were on Skype. I only worry because I found out that their was some extreme violence in Baghdad. I know he is currently safe, I just hate knowing elections are coming up in Iraq and I can only imagine the violence is going to get worse. I would rather he was home with our family!

I love and miss him and continuously pray for his safe return to our family.

Till Next Time!

Throwing My Tantrum

How am I going to manage to get through this deployment. I am tired of taking care of our three children on my own, it is un-nerving to have to listen to the girls fight continuously and Isaac whine or throw tantrums. I don't want to do it anymore, I didn't have these three children by myself and yet I am always having to play a single mother. This has been a rough week, I often wonder if my children will ever appreciate what I do for them. The dance lessons, swim lesson, festivals and other activities we do.

Will my husband ever have the opportunity to see on a first hand basis what I have to go through? With each passing day I become more and more irritable. I mean I am doing things a lot differently this deployment. I am keeping myself and our children very active. Yet I constantly feel as though it is not enough as others are asking me to do things for them as well. Days like these I just want to throw in the towel and run away! Instead I just endure and keep going knowing I have to get through the day and hopefully tomorrow will be different.

Eruption of Anger Possible

Alright so I didn't do much of anything today. I did get the children to the YMCA for their swim lessons and Itty Bitty Sports. However while Isaac was learning to play soccer him and another little boy began to argue back and forth one saying "YES" and the other saying "NO" but then the next thing I saw before I could Isaac to calm down this other little boy slapped my son across the face. I was really angry, because as a parent had my child slapped their child he would have been apologizing but the little boys parents were just laughing about it and just sat him out the remainder of the time. Am I expecting to much as a parent.

I am already having a difficult time keeping my anger in control while my husband is gone but it is to the point where I think I may wind up getting into a physical altercation with someone! I don't believe violence resolves anything, however I honestly feel as though are youth are being raised in a violent and awful enviornment anymore. It is to the point I have even been contemplating home schooling my children.

What do I do with all the anger and irritability I have within me. I have been working out but it doesn't seem to be helping as much as it used to. Any suggestions would be appreciated.